I've been thinking a lot about my blog and my blogging style...or lack thereof. I just haven't been blogging like I used to. Well, I came across a post on one of the blogs that I read and I could totally relate to her post. She talked about how lately she feels like she's lost her voice on her blog because she knows that everyone reads her blog. I know you're probably like, duh, your blog is posted on the Internet...every one's going to read it. It makes total sense in my head, but it's hard to explain. When a lot of people read your blog, it leads to some major problems...People get offended if they're not invited to an outing, people get offended if you don't include your outing with them on your blog, people pass judgements about what you're doing/not doing as a mom, people think you're braggin if you write about something you're celebrating or accomplished, they think you're negetive if you write about "true life" occurences, and quite frankly people are just nosy. I feel like I don't write blog posts or omit things in my posts because I know certain people are reading my blog and I don't want to offend them, come across as bragging or negative and then be judged unfairly. I have seen a lot of negative anonymous comments lately on other people's blogs and I'm can't believe how mean people can be. I have to admit that I do roll my eyes at some things people say on their blogs, but obviously everyone has a right to their own opinion and I appreciate their blogs and I enjoy reading them.
I've considered going private so I can regulate who I want to read my blog, but I really think private blogs are annoying. I never read them (sorry if you have a private blog). It takes too much effort to look up the blog, log in, and just find out that it hasn't been updated. I enjoy my bloglines account and its instant updates. Plus, I've come across some amazing moms and friends through blogs and had they been private or my blog been private then we would have never connected. So I guess that's where I'm at right now. I just wish I felt the same way about my blog like I used to. I used to post pretty much whatever was on my mind or whatever was in my heart at the time. I just feel like I'm writing my blog for other people and not myself.
It's such a catch 22. I love connecting with friends, family and new people and I also love that people take the time to stop by and catch a glimpse of our life. And what blogger doesn't love comments?! But I don't love certain people reading my blog, or people taking things the wrong way, or being judgemental. I have no way to regulate that. What's a girl to do? Any advice?
21 comments:
I completely ignore my readers.:) I could care less about what they think -- unless I'm asking for opinions on my blog.
Honestly, if I don't post something I've done, it's most likely because I'm busy.
and if you didn't get invited just ask me why not.
At least that's how I act. Sometimes I self-censor -- mostly because a lot of people in our ward read my blog.
Anyway, keep writing. Ignore the folks.
I agree about the whole private blog thing. Plus, I swear when people go private they stop posting all together. I think that is the reason I would hesitate to go private. This has been the best thing for me journaling-wise and I would hate to quit writing and become lazy. Oh, and I hate mean comments on other people's blogs too. It is sad that people make themselves feel better by being unkind.
LVNV - 2 more weeks!
You already know how I feel about the whole thing. I think you should post what you want. I know that it's easier said than done, but do what you want because it is your blog right?!
I ditto Hilary--almost word for word:) Good Luck and I enjoy your blog!
My thoughts: you write whatever you feel like writing. anyone who has a problem not being included in a blog entry, an activity of stuff need to realize that this is your blog. this is not you and their blog. this is your opportunity to speak what is on your mind, share what you want to share and ask for advice when you want it.
Why didn't you include me in your post? lol!!! I am on the kick of who cares but that is just me. You keep on doing your thing. I love reading about your daily happenings and if I am not apart of it I am okay. So a summary- keep it going sista! p.s. it is because you are so cool everyone wants to be included.
Dude - your blog is first and foremost for you, so write what you want and let people feel how they're going to feel. If someone is judgemental or easily offended then it doesn't really matter what you write - they'll find a way to let it bug them. Some people are just lame, don't let them tear down your awesomeness.
Also, I use bloglines and have figured out that on the private blogs a little red exclamation point shows up in brackets next to the blog when it's been updated. Oh, and if you're already logged into blogger then you don't have to keep logging in with each private blog - it will automatically give you access. Having said that, I really don't care who reads (or rather, who doesn't read) my blog - since pretty much everything I write is for me (and my family.) So don't worry about me being offended in the slightest if you don't stop by - I know you're my friend either way.
Wow! I guess I am new to the blogging thing...still, I had no idea people were mean or cared THAT much about what other people do or do not blog about! I love reading your blog and hope you ignore the people that have issues- your blog is always cute and usually makes me smile. I love seeing how you and your adorable family are doing! It really is a great way to keep up with people. If you didn't have a blog I would have no idea what you and Ryan were up to. Luv you and your blog!! :)
Ok, that "usually" sounds funny when I re-read my comment- your blog never fails to make me smile! LOL, just sometimes more that others, when you are talking about something I can totally hear you saying it or reacting that way and I remember back to our room mate days!! Those times really make me smile- if that makes sense. :)
I agree that's really hard. I hem and haw over in-laws (and others) reactions. Hence my blog is often captionless pictures or a travel itinerary.
Ignoring that--you seem like a very positive. welcoming, warm person so I think it's unlikely anyone could find offense. I wouldn't worry too much and just be yourself. That (personality) is what makes blogs so fun and unique. Good luck with all of it.
Oh I love your blog ever since Wade was your guy's visiting teacher in San Jose and, We got to know each other a little bit I have always loved reading your blog.
I have always thought it was neat that we moved so close to one another and at one point were in each others same stake.
Im sorry I Have not posted on my blog in so long I have been really sick the past three years and allot of my time has been spend at the hospital (Now that makes for a BORING blog read!!)
But I have to tell you I so much admire you and your talents. I thought you were like Super Women making all those freezer meals and getting so organized before you had Max that was AMAZING!!
And just the other day I told Wade "Man I need to have Brittney give me a lesson on how she does her coupon stuff".
Sorry for the long comment: but all in all I think you rock I actually think the way you post is amazing, You are for "REAL" and that is how life is I think it is inspiring to read some ones blog like that because we all have good day's and bad ones. And I am not a mommy but hands down I know it is the hardest job out there!!
So when I read your blog even though I might not post a comment , I am thinking "You go girl!!"
I love this post and I totally agree with you. Its like we have to sensor ourselves on our own blogs! I wish I had great advice for you - but remember this is your blog and you should do whatever you want!! If you find an answer to this dilemma, let me know. :) I have learned several things from reading your blog, in case that helps. And I enjoy reading your blog, if its any consolation!
Honestly, I love knowing what everybody else is up to, celebrating, struggling with, etc. It makes me feel more normal! Plus, for any SAHM, you've got to have a totally honest outlet, AND you've got to check out others' totally honest outlets, just to keep your sanity! BTW, I LOVE your blog! I check in sometimes just to see what you bought! :)
I've actually had haters and all that and I honestly DO NOT CARE. I LOVE having my blog so people can get to know me better. Pretty much what you see is what you get. I don't like the sugar-coated blogs. That's no fun to me. I like real life.
As for the blogsosphere being like high school- I agree. People need to grow up and realize that just because they read your blog doesn't make you best friends.
Oh- I forgot- Sei's exwife found my blog and was offended by some things I wrote. I told her it was my journal and if she didn't like it, don't read it. Period.
You must understand that unfortunately, people judge, have their feelings hurt, will feel left out, etc. It will happen no matter what you do to try and stop it. It's so unfortunate, but that's the world we live in. Don't worry about them. Blog for you or it's not worth it. That's the beauty of being an individual. No one thinks or acts just like you, but is it wrong? NO! Just be you and love yourself and what they think or say won't bother you. It's absolutely impossible to make everyone happy and if you do, by some miracle, then most likely you're not happy.
I just found your blog yesterday, so I'm glad it wasn't private! I have the opposite problem that you have. I have a blog, but no one I know reads or writes blogs (crazy, right?) so I hardly have any readers or comments. I totally write for an audience of strangers, but I also write whatever I want because no one I know is reading it! It's cathartic for me and that's why I do it. I do wish more people were responding to my posts, but oh well. I really enjoy reading other's blogs and I love it when they are candid. Keep it up.
Ooh, I happened to check your blog when something I have a strong opinion about! For one- I think your boys are darling. It's fun to check in every once in a while.
But in response...
I am so glad I went private. I really felt like I needed to for several reasons- so (as you may recall) when I was about to do it I put up a post that said to email me if you wanted to be invited to the blog. I got SO MANY emails from random people I didn't know asking to be invited to see my blog! Things like "Hi- you don't know me, but I live in Tennessee and I read your blog every day. I love watching your kids grow up and I feel like they are part of my life!" Um, hi freaky person, how did you find my blog and why are you reading it daily? Seriously, I was amazed at some of the emails. Anyway, it really freaked me out. I guess I don't mind private blogs because once you are logged in to your account (which I always am) you don't have to login again to read private blogs- thus I never have to log in to read a private blog. Two negatives, though- I have really missed getting in touch with old friends (but I am on facebook now, so when I find old friends I often invite them to see my blog), and I also hate that you can only have 100 readers. I don't know what happens when you get to your "cap", but I am only two away, so we'll see.
Anyway, there's my two cents!
I know what you mean. You want to be honest and fully talk about what you want to, but then again, you don't want certain people to know certain things and that means it can't be a real journal. I've been struggling with similar issues.
My idea: start another blog, in addition to this one, where you write down all the stuff you want for you. It might be a pain, and it might not work at all,(depending on what you're omitting)but you can choose not to show it on your profile, so people won't know its there. It's kind of like having a private blog without the logging in, etc. Just an idea . . .
I did what Leigh said and started another blog where I could say stuff that I didn't have to worry about offending others(mostly in-laws). It's private and no one even knows I have it. I do try and keep my main, public blog as true to my own voice as I can. Blogging is journaling, in my opinion. I haven't run into haters or people being offended, but I worry about it. I don't get that many comments, so I figure not that many people are reading to worry that much.
I have told myself that my blog is only for my familys journal keeping. So if no one reads it, fine. But I don't like private blogs either, because as you mentioned, if it weren't for public blogs, I wouldn't have been able to catch up with so many old friend. So, I just tell myself that I'll write what I'll want to remember in the future and what I will want my kids to remember, or have record of. I'm actually in the process of printing off our family blog into a book for our family history records. Blogging is much more fun when you quit thinking about those who might be reading your blog!
I love reading your blog and I would check it even wif you went private--sad though that you don't read mine--I went private so I could share my whole self without worrrying who would find it. I do have a public blog that I don't update that often so that people who are looking for me, can find me. Anyway, I just posted something I think you would be interested in, so even though it takes a while, and is annoying, LOOK AT MY BLOG! Love you!
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